1 CORINTHIANS 7:33

i know you're not asleep
i can feel you moving over there
you're playing with the seams
of your worn out underwear

my lips are raw as hell
from biting on them just to stay awake
it's not like i'm gonna need them
you won't be around
to sea them bleed & break

all that i do
comes back to you
so i'll just think about you 'til there's nothing in my head
all i can do
is try not to screw this up again
and just be friends
i'd rather be dead

i drove out of east atlanta
with a headache as big as my car
i called you to say i was okay
because i know how you are

i'm like a movie without an ending
i've got nowhere to go
and it makes me want to throw up
to sea you want to give up
more than you'll ever know

everything's supposed to have a happy ending
but the record keeps skipping & the needle keeps bending
like the road i'm driving on to the bridge that has no end
i want to take back everything i've broken
but the bridge is behind me burning & smoking
i guess this is the end

all that i do
comes back to you
so i'll just think about you 'til there's nothing in my head
all i can do
is try not to screw this up again
and just be friends
i'd rather be dead
--butch walker

my 1st weekend back in the house alone has been pretty rough. thanks are due to fro, for letting me unload on her. and to darren, for lunch. an apology to darren, as well, for making him an unhappy grem. still waiting for one from Prego, for eating my 1/2 of her sandwich.
if anyone knows of anyone w/ an extra toaster or kitchen table, i'd be willing to let them christen it w/ me. i'll cook & clean up, even. so let me know, if you're interested. i may just post a list of all the things i need, but don't want to pay for...
short of minor material wants, the more prayer the better. for His will to be done in my life, & the lives of my family. i know HE IS listening, but sometimes i feel like i'm praying into an umbrella. the weight that i'm supposed to let Him take falls right back on my head, & sends me reeling.
anyone wanting a more detailed account of what's been going on is welcome to call, or e-mail. if you don't have my info, you probably know someone who does. i'll warn you, it's not family material, so prepare to be embarassed if you ask, because i'll tell you. if you doubt that you'll be uncomfortable, you can ask my poor sister...